We are back in this ongoing series on the cluster B continuum and today it is antisocial personality disorder’s turn to be in the hot seat. So, first things first. What’s in a name? Well when it comes to antisocial personality disorder, it has the most misleading label of all. Because when we think of antisocial, we think of a person who goes to a party and is unsocial. So, we say to them, “Oh, you’re being antisocial”. And let me assure you, that kind of antisocial is completely unrelated to antisocial personality disorder. Antisocial personality disorder is synonymous with psychopath, sociopath – which is basically the emotionally dysregulated version of the psychopath. And this is the very one – antisocial – that is most commonly found in the prison population.
Too busy to read the rest of the article? Listen to it on my podcast (here) available on all listening platforms. Or my YouTube channel if you want to see the woman behind this site (here) speaking on this topic. This series on the Cluster B disorders are written transcripts from my new podcast and YouTube channel. Having never written articles on these particular topics, it seems appropriate to maximize platforms in my quest to raise real awareness.
The following terms mentioned in this article are in Trauma Glossary 1 (here):
- Cluster B Personality Disorder
- DARVO
- Unmasking
Antisocial vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Thanks to the internet, which has been taking the red flags of the other disorders and rebranding them as narcissists, we must first start by making a distinction between narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder. Because in a lot of ways antisocial can appear to be a more primitive version of narcissistic personality disorder. So first, antisocial personality disorder is fully capable of hiding in plain sight. In fact, many of them can appear to be very charming, especially on the first meeting – and here’s the difference.
With the narcissist, they’re going to appear charming because they have an excessive need for admiration. But for antisocial, it’s more about getting what they want. They care less about what others think of them. In fact, of the cluster Bs we’ve explored so far, this is the one who cares the least about what others think – and it’s more about “How can I get what I want?”
Now next point, antisocial personality disorder has extreme self-centeredness. And you might be thinking, “Well yeah? So what? So is the narcissist.” There’s a difference. For the narcissist, they’re living in a fantasy image. So, it’s ego-driven. They need people to admire them so that they get to keep living in this illusion – believing that the fantasy image is the real image. Whereas antisocial is just extremely selfish. It isn’t ego-based because their brand of selfishness is so extreme that they aren’t concerned with others’ opinions of them unless they can use that opinion to get what they want. And you will see it in the next comparison.
A Comparison Chart Between NPD and ASPD
The narcissist has insufficient empathy while antisocial personality disorder has none. So, when you have extreme self-centeredness with a lack of empathy, that’s already a huge red flag that you might be dealing with someone potentially dangerous. And with the narcissist there’s a difference between having insufficient empathy versus no empathy.
The narcissist has cognitive empathy and this means they simply understand the thoughts and feelings of others. They’re able to understand that. The thing about the narcissist is they tend to play on the thoughts and feelings of others so that in exchange, they can get that narcissistic supply back. But with antisocial personality disorder, they have what’s called social cognition – which is not empathy based at all. Social cognition is simply having the ability to process and store information on others, and they use it to manipulate. So, they’re storing information so that they can get whatever it is they want.
Antisocial’s key markers and why they care least what others think of them
Like I said, of all the cluster Bs, narcissists care very much what people think of them and they want to be admired. Histrionics care very much what others think of them because they need that attention from others. Borderlines care very much what others think of them and they want people to feel sorry for them.
But we get to antisocial, and it isn’t about that. They don’t really care what people think of them. They care only as much as “What can I get from this person?” So, this is what I’m talking about when I’m describing extreme self centeredness – so self-centered that they don’t even care about what others think of them unless it’s to their advantage. And if that isn’t bad enough, they also have chronic feelings of boredom and contempt – which we will get into later – and they are highly impulsive. So, those are the main markers of antisocial personality disorder.
The Criteria for ASPD
As we finally get into the criteria for antisocial, their keyword is “anti-law, anti-humanity”. It comes from a place of extreme self-centeredness and a lack of empathy because having respect for the law and humanity means having an ability to consider the things outside themselves. So, if we think “anti-humanity, anti-law”, the rest of the criteria will make sense.
Criteria 1: Persistently breaks the law.
Now for this criteria, don’t limit your understanding to the kind of crimes that will make headline news. You can think smaller. In fact, it might be a better idea to do so. Because one more thing that the cluster Bs all have in common is an inability to handle conflict, both real and imagined – and I do stress real or imagined. They tend to overreact to conflict. So, what you may see on a smaller scale with antisocial personality disorder if they decide to turn on you, you might wake up the next day with your tires slashed or sugar in your gas tank, poisoning pets even – I’ve heard of this too. So, think of petty crimes as well because not everyone with antisocial personality disorder will make headline news or end up in prison. That doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous.
Criteria 2: Is aggressive and irritable with a history of fights or assaults.
Here’s the scary part. Remember when I talked about one of the basic characteristics of antisocial personality disorder is that they have chronic feelings of boredom and contempt? Now is a good time to point something else out to you. They tend to feel both happiness and fear on a superficial level. Those emotions – for whatever reason – don’t tend to go very deep in them. However what they do feel very deeply is anger and frustration. So, when you have this inability to experience happiness and fear but you have all this anger and wrath, combined with the boredom and the contempt, that’s a pretty explosive combination all by itself. Combine that with the fact that their anger is severely dysregulated. They don’t know how to manage it – and no, I am not making an excuse for them. This is helping us make sense out of this senselessness.
Criteria 3: Acts on impulse without giving much thought to future consequences.
They’re very short sighted in their behavior. They are not going to plan things out all the way through. So, let’s put it all together right now. With their chronic feelings of boredom and contempt and an inability to fully feel happiness or fear, now they’re acting on impulse without even thinking. But wait, there’s more!
Criteria 4: Engages in reckless behaviors that create dangerous situations for self or others.
Here again, they’re going to appear fearless – all these reckless behaviors without any concern for themselves or others. Well they lack empathy and they’re extremely self-centered. An inability to feel fear on a deep level combined with the impulsivity and all the anger that is completely dysregulated within them, these are increasingly more dangerous red flags that you see in antisocial personality disorder.
Criteria 5: Is deceitful and uses aliases, lies, or cons people to get what is wanted.
That was what I established in the beginning. They’re less concerned with what people think of them because it’s more about “What can I get from this person?” It comes from the place of a complete insensitivity to the needs of others due to their lack of empathy and selfish concerns on an extreme level. And before you go thinking that this criteria is the classic con artist, you can think on a smaller level as well with this one. For example, if they’re known to constantly act out but they meet someone new and for whatever reason – just because they feel like it – they want to put on their best behavior just to see what it’s like for someone to see them as a decent person for a little while.
Bear in mind they’re ruled by chronic feelings of boredom and contempt. So, whatever it is that can alleviate the boredom is another means they can play a con game just for their amusement. Put on an act for just a little while, purely to take themselves out of the boredom. Another example is lying for the sake of lying without any reason or hope for gaining anything out of it.
Criteria 6: Is irresponsible with regard to work, financial, and family obligations.
There’s no sense of interpersonally responsible conduct with this criteria; meaning that cooperating with others is seen through a negative lens because of their extreme self-centeredness. Also because responsibilities aggravate their feelings of boredom and contempt it tends to trigger them into lashing out or simply leaving because they’re highly impulsive.
Criteria 7: Lacks remorse as shown by indifference to or rationalizing of harm he or she has caused.
Now the rationalizing part of their behaviors are classic DARVO. Where the cluster B disorders are concerned all paths lead straight back to DARVO, which is a five letter acronym for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender. They can find an excuse for everything they’ve done and blame the victim as opposed to themselves.
The other half of this criteria is showing complete indifference. Well let’s think of the antisocials who do make headline news. What is it they typically say when they are caught and they can’t lie their way out of it anymore? What do they typically say if they say anything at all when they’re asked “Why? Why did you do this?” They say “I don’t know”, or “Just felt like it”, or the third one usually goes “I just wanted to know what it would be like to do…” fill in the blank of whatever they did. And of course, captain obvious, as soon as we understand that they lack empathy and they have self centeredness on an extreme level, then of course it makes sense that they would have no remorse for what they did.
Criteria 8: Has a history of antisocial behaviors since adolescence.
This includes rule breaking, being physically aggressive, lying, disrespect for others and property, and even substance abuse, etcetera. It’s important to note here that it is very, very common for those with antisocial personality disorder to abuse substances – alcohol or substance abuse. It certainly doesn’t apply to everyone with antisocial but it’s pretty common, just because the chronic boredom and feelings of contempt, not being able to experience joy or fear very deeply. It works against them as they try and find some other form of a stimulant. Because whatever it is in their makeup, they can’t experience joy the way that we do.
ASPD in the Cluster B Continuum
Of the 10 traits that all cluster Bs have, where antisocial personality disorder is concerned we only need to look at three of them.
Jealousy
After reading the criteria, it might not occur to you that they’re deep down jealous of our joy. It makes a lot of sense when we consider the fact that they can’t experience happiness on a deep level. Seeing other people’s happiness while they have so much deep-rooted anger within them makes them want to act out.
Poor Impulse Control
While yes, all cluster Bs have this tendency to not consider consequences before they act. In fact, the most authentic thing about the cluster B disorders is that shocked facial expression the moment they learn there are consequences for what they have done. Well, with antisocial personality disorder they are even more impulsive and more short-sighted; and this is where antisocial personality disorder creates their very own karma.
Let’s use a very typical true crime story as an example. My husband and I are huge fans of Mike OH with That Chapter on YouTube and he makes true crime content. Every time he covers a crime story where the motive for murder was life insurance, he does this little segment that goes something like this: “Life insurance, life insurance, life insurance!” – and it’s hilarious. And why does he do that? Because it’s the most common motive for these headline news makers.
So, what kind of mistakes do you typically see in those types of true crime documentaries? (True crime buffs back me up please.) What are some of the things they typically do?
Example of ASPD’s extreme short-sightedness
Usually they’ve done it once before and got away with it. So, they’re using their MO as this little blueprint for the next time they do it. They get a life insurance policy made up and the moment the policy goes into effect, well something mysteriously happens to the victim. And the moment something happens to the victim, here comes the perpetrator into the insurance office wanting to cash in that claim.
We’re sitting on the couch watching this, slapping our foreheads and going, “You idiot! You’re not stopping to think about how suspicious you’re looking right now, the fact that you’re not even taking the time to mourn this so-called loved one of yours!” And hey, why? Well first of all, those of us sitting on the couch and slapping our foreheads and calling the perpetrator an idiot are not the ones who are going to be inclined to commit a crime such as that. Because we have empathy and an understanding of how other people feel and how other people would perceive us.
With the antisocial, the reason they’re committing this complete act of stupidity is they’re not considering how they’re looking. They’re not considering that there are people out there who will care about the victim; they’re not considering that the law actually cares. They’re not considering any of these things; they’re actually thinking it’s all going to blow over…until they end up in the slammer. And so, that’s one of those little markers I’d like to give the true crime buffs. Next time you watch a true crime documentary, look for those little markers – the extreme short sightedness that goes on behind these antisocial personality disorders – and you’ll be able to spot the antisocial in there.
Masking and Unmasking
We can think of antisocial personality disorder as a scale from they could hide in plain sight – you have no idea you’re in the company of a person with antisocial personality disorder – or they can be on the other side of this scale where their attitude is more like, “Hold my beer because I don’t care who sees me act up and act out!” And as always, the golden rule with the cluster B disorders is those who see them behind the mask the most are going to be those living with them behind closed doors.
ASPD Awareness Should Act as a Public Service Warning
Now there’s a reason that as we walked through the criteria, I wanted you guys to think of small petty crimes as opposed to headline news. Because if you can see the petty crime examples you’re more inclined to recognize the red flags and live to tell. You’re more inclined to see the red flags before it’s too late – before you become a part of their headline news. Will all antisocial personality disorders make headline news? No, but it’s like a game of Russian Roulette with them. It’s important for you to understand this. You never know with them. I have heard of other cases where they (ASPD) have been friends with someone and suddenly turned on them, all because they felt like it in the moment. I cannot reiterate enough how highly unstable antisocial personality disorder is.
In my opinion, the moment the End the Stigma movement decided to include the cluster B disorders is the very moment it became a scam. Silencing the voices of the advocates and the victims and the survivors, all in the name of destigmatizing dangerous people. It’s also misleading well-intentioned people into wanting to help dangerous people who are a danger to their mental and physical health. We are not trained professionals. So, stop flattering yourself that you can help them when even the trained professionals are having a difficult time treating antisocial personality disorder.
“Treatment”
Do you want to know how they have to begin with treating antisocial personality disorder? It’s by playing on their self-centeredness. It’s the only way. They have to convince them (ASPD) to want to learn other means of getting what they want without the fear of legal consequences. Antisocial personality disorder will never develop empathy.
They simply have to learn to decide with their self-centeredness, “Do I want to get what I want and keep it without legal repercussions?” And then they have to learn and practice cooperation, managing their explosive anger, and managing their impulsive urges.
So, join me next week when we explore what kind of antisocial do you get when they are comorbid with another personality disorder.