The Case For Maintaining Stigma and Judgement of BPD Behavior Cluster B individuals all deny obvious realities as part of their mind games. In BPD in particular, this takes the shape of insisting that things happened in a way that they feel justifies their intense emotions and abusive temper tantrums. These are not unconscious acts, …
BPD – My Feelings ARE the Facts Read More »
We hear of the domestic violence victim who stays or keeps going back to their abuser. And until we understand coercive control, we will keep asking, Why can’t they just leave? We are asking the wrong question. The victim is free to leave at any time in the physical sense. But coercive control is psychological …
Coercive Control is the Reason They Can’t “Just Leave” Read More »
Forgiving someone for a mistake is beautiful. It shows acknowledgement that we all make mistakes and we can relate to it in some way. However, a lifetime of intentional cruelty is not a mistake. If we cannot imagine treating others the way that someone treated us, forgiveness tends to feel like the F-word. The truth …
Toxic Forgiveness Stagnates the Healing Read More »
The third article in this series to help raise awareness for children who are currently living in an abusive home. My group members, all of whom are adult survivors of child abuse, have been helping me by supplying their testimonies. Each article has addressed what an abusive home looks like to those on the outside …
“Why Didn’t They Tell?” 5 Reasons Abused Children Stay Silent Read More »
We hear this in crime documentaries after the tragedy: “I thought their parents were just (choose your adjective).“ Be it the murdered child or the child who, seeing no alternative, takes matters into their own hands. Both are equally tragic. The red flags were there the whole time, they only became obvious in hindsight. The …
“But I Thought Their Parents Were Just…” How to Question What We See Read More »
Mainstream media would have us believe that those who act out are the only ones living in an adverse home. Thanks to the so-called “trained professionals” throwing around the over-generalization that “Hurt people hurt people,” we have only one clue. This is not to say that children who act out are not living in an …
How to Spot a Child Who is Living in an Adverse Home Read More »
We all have some degree of cognitive bias. It gives us our fundamental beliefs, after all. We need that foundation to interpret information so that we can understand it. That’s because to function in our day-to-day life, we must make sense of ourselves and our place in the world. So, when confronted by a new …
Cognitive Bias to Cognitive Dissonance: How Our Beliefs Direct Our Lives Read More »
Last week’s article was a thorough how-to on going no contact with toxic parents (here). I asked my group members if there was anything that hit home for them. Then I followed up by asking if they wanted to share their anonymous experiences. Five volunteered, but what truly surprised me was that their stories had …
Love Bombing, Parental Betrayal, and the Trauma Bond: A Group Interview Read More »
Good for you on finding this article! It means that you’re finally considering what you need instead of what your abuser needs. But finding this article also means you have many questions, which I will cover. You may wonder what no contact means and whether or not you are ready. You need to know how …
How to Go No Contact with Your Toxic Parent Read More »
The Cluster B’s (Trauma Glossary 1) are now demanding we stop calling it borderline or narcissistic abuse (because it’s a “mental illness”) and instead, call it “just abuse”. If you think for one minute, honoring this latest campaign will end their internet abuse, think again. I come from the pre-language days of the ’90’s and …
Debunking Their “Just Abuse” Argument: Affirmations to the C-PTSD Community Read More »
