I was eight years old when I first heard that my paternal grandfather had been married before. She was named Carolyn and her and my grandfather, Campbell had a baby together. I had been told both wife and infant died in a car crash. I dismissed the story as a lie because all I could think was that sort of trauma would leave a permanent imprint on anyone. As far as I knew, there was nothing remotely haunted about my grandfather. He was fun-loving and quick with a smile. Though I knew that the mysterious “Grandpa Kelly” once lived with them, he died before I was born. I never connected the dots because my grandfather’s story was never brought up.
When I was nineteen years old I stood at the cemetery as my grandfather’s casket was lowered into the ground. A small set of tombstones, weathered by age was right next to him. I noticed the baby’s first: Paul Campbell. Campbell was my grandfather’s name, and he had our last name. So, I asked whose baby he was, and that’s when I heard the same story for the second time. Only this time, I was slammed with proof that the accident happened and my grandfather had just taken his story with him to the grave. I had many questions but all I received was scant information. It seemed the greatest mysteries of my grandfather would remain unsolved.
I never expected to find myself living inside a real life Nancy Drew adventure, but that’s what happened to me this past month. I interviewed “witnesses” and what can only be described as serendipity, I ended up with a box of “evidence” too. What I learned had so many twists and surprises, I knew I’d have to share my investigation alongside the past!
Who Was Carolyn Kelly?
Hello, my name is Campbell, father of 5, grandfather to 7. One of my grandchildren is the very one who runs this site, Jaena. She calls me a trauma warrior even though I didn’t do anything famous.Jaena is on a mission to figure out what happened before I met her grandmother. You see, I lost my first wife and our only child in a car crash on January 1st, 1948. I never talked about it.Here’s what we know. His wife and baby were in the car with her brother, my grandfather’s brother-in-law. They collided with a gas truck…A gas truck?? They didn’t hit a gas truck. I wonder who told them that?Jaena: …and they all burned to death. Campbell: That part is true.Then a couple of years later, he met my grandmother. They had four kids together and they all grew up believing they had not two, but three sets of grandparents.My first wife and her brother were the Kellys’ only children. My baby was their only grandchild. That car crash wiped out their entire bloodline. So, I certainly wasn’t going to abandon them.How in the world did my grandfather recover from such a horrific loss? I always wanted to know because I think his story could inspire so many people. But…Jaena: He never talked about it. Campbell: I never talked about it.
The Plan
I have a plan. My grandfather has siblings who are still around, and they remember what happened. So, I’m taking a weekend road trip to talk to them.A story like my grandfather’s would have made local headlines. So, I called around and learned that they keep their news archives at the courthouse…She won’t be going to the courthouse. You know how I know? Because Jeana’s first stop is always at her grandmother’s house. Her uncle is waiting for her with a surprise.He was clearing out our shed a few months back and that’s when he discovered the cedar chest.
Meeting Carolyn Kelly
Oh, dear god, it’s like a time capsule! Where do I even start?Ah! So, you were my grandfather’s first love. Hello Carolyn Kelly, it’s nice to finally see your face.Her brother, R.L. and oh wow, him, Carolyn, and Baby Paul, all of whom died together in that car crash.Look! She had a baby book on little baby Paul, my half-uncle who died at just 5 months old.What’s in this shoe box? Letters and…what kind of tiny cards are these?These are all cards to their funeral wreaths!There’s a news clipping in here too! A fourth person died in that wreck. His name was Percy Warrington. He must have been the other driver.Jaena: That means all these letters were sent to my grandfather right after he lost his wife and little baby…Except for this one. Campbell: How did that get in there?
It’s a letter he wrote to Carolyn while he was in the navy. And…is this her journal?
Not really. Carolyn called it her record book. She was recording significant dates in it. Births, deaths, graduations, special events, that sort of thing.She even recorded when I joined the navy, and everywhere I was stationed up until I was discharged.“Campbell was sworn in the navy, March 10, 1945. He took boot training at Great Lakes, Illinois. Then was sent to Virginia near Norfolk…”
1945
I came of age in World War II, and I wanted to fight for our cause. In those days, teenagers under age 18 could enlist if their parents signed a release.My parents refused to do that for me, so I had to wait until I was old enough. Anyway, while I was waiting, I met someone special.Her name was Carolyn Kelly. She was charming, fun-loving, and kind. By the time I was old enough to enlist, Carolyn was my sweetheart.The war ended on September 2nd, 1945, just one week before my grandfather wrote to Carolyn from Norfolk.My Dearest Carolyn, Here I am again. I don’t have anything to do or anything to write, just let you know I am thinking about you…Darling, maybe I shouldn’t ask you this or even think about such a thing, but it would mean a lot to me and get something off my mind that has been there quite a while. I do love you and always will…Will you wait for me? I don’t know how long it will be though. Time for lights out so will go. I’m looking for an answer real soon. I love you darling, Campbell.“I will.”He really, really loved her. It amplifies in my mind the devastation it must have been when he lost her.
I visit Gracie, my grandfather’s little sister.
Aunt Gracie, this is you at age 12, when the wreck happened? You were such a pretty girl.Gracie: Oh, I know.Carolyn was a very good person, always smiling. Our second cousin was going to school with her and introduced them to each other.Well, one weekend when Campbell was on leave, the three were out together. Our cousin said to them, “You two should just get married already. It’s clear you’re madly in love.”I looked at Carolyn like: Want to? She gave me a great big smile, and just like that, we stopped by the minister’s house. He married us that very night.I remember that night he brought her home. Daddy asked if Carolyn missed her bus because she was going to college in another county at the time.I told him No, we just got married. And my father said, Oh, okay.So that was January 16, 1946, just four months after he asked Carolyn to wait for him.In my time we didn’t have lavish weddings or funerals like you have today. Things were a lot simpler then. You want to get married? Go find the preacher and do it.Funerals were more like…well, I’ll describe that one later.
1946
Now he is stationed at Little Creek, Virginia (1946). Was discharged at Memphis, Tennessee July 19, 1946.They lived in a little house back behind ours. Carolyn became a piano teacher.My grandfather would have been 19, and Carolyn would have been 18. I’m sure that was helpful for a young couple just starting out.This is the only picture I have of Carolyn. Campbell was teasing her…She was looking at me because I was teasing her. So, she pretended she was going to throw her book at me when the camera flashed.I know I’ve made this same expression hundreds of times because I like to make jokes too. This might be my favorite picture of her. It truly captures her playful side.See how Carolyn is wearing an apron? She was raised old school because her parents had her and R.L. late in life. Her mom taught her to always wear an apron over her dress.
1947
The older the parents, the older the grandparents. Well, Carolyn never knew her grandmothers. That’s why she was excited that both our mothers were still around. It meant that Paul was going to know his.But a funny thing happened that year. You see, my mom hadn’t had any babies in over 11 years. She thought she was done.Then, a couple weeks after Carolyn found out she was pregnant, my mom found out she was pregnant too.Picture it: all of us living on the same property. My wife and my mom were pregnant at the same time. Then they gave birth in the same month.Paul was born at the first of August and my baby sister Faye was born at the end of August. All Carolyn could do was laugh and say, “Well, we know who our child’s first playmate is going to be.”Paul was the first grandchild on both sides of the family. So, he was one spoiled little guy. Everyone loved him.I remember once, we had a little porch swing and I had him propped up with some pillows. I was pushing him and when he came close to me, I said “Boo!” And he just laughed and laughed.He would have been at least 8 weeks old. His unfinished baby book is so heartbreaking.
January 1, 1948
Did anyone ever learn how they collided with the gas truck?Gracie: Gas truck?? Jaena: They crashed into a gas truck…right?No, they were rear-ended. A car hit them, not a gas truck.But I was always told that they burned to death…That’s true. You see, in those days, the gas tanks were right under the back fender. So, when the car rear-ended them, it hit the gas tank.And the car exploded on impact…The “gas truck” that never was, was just a by-product of the grapevine effect. Meaning, somewhere in the telling and retelling of this story, hitting the gas tank turned into colliding with a gas truck instead.
I visit Sam T., my grandfather’s little brother
Jaena: Uncle Sam T., this is you around the time of the wreck? Sam T.: Yep, I was 15 years old when it happened.My grandfather never talked about this. Not even to his own kids. They had to learn how they came to have three sets of grandparents from relatives.I believe it. Campbell was a man of few words. He was more apt to hold it in than let it out.Unless there was an opportunity to crack a joke. In which case, I was all in. But seriousness or talking about my feelings? No thanks.So, do you remember what was going on that day? I guess what mean is, where was my grandfather while they were driving?Carolyn and the baby had been spending the holiday with her parents. They lived in another county. So, she was riding back with her brother.Campbell was at a basketball game in another county. And they were all on their way to meet him there.Now, what you have to understand is, we didn’t have much to do at the time. So, we all sort of lived for basketball.The Kellys lived in a county east of where we lived. The game was in a county west of us. So, it should have been a 45-minute road trip for them.
The Crash Site
Let me tell you something. That wreck shook the whole community.I’ve passed by where it happened many times and I always wondered why they chose the longer route that night.The direct route would have been safer. The only thing I can think of is, the roads weren’t good in those days. So, maybe there were fewer potholes on the longer route. I’m just speculating though.I understand. What was so dangerous about the longer route?Lots of winding curves. In some spots, you won’t notice a car ahead of you until you make it around. The car that hit them was going way too fast.It killed Carolyn, little Paul, her brother, and her brother’s friend…You mean there was a fourth person in that car?Yeah, he was R.L.’s friend but I don’t remember his name.Percy Warrington! The news clipping mentioned him at the very end, but I just thought he was the other driver.No, the one who rear-ended them lived.
“Mom! Carolyn is dead!” Bad News Travels Fast
I was at the game that night, too. But I was with my friends.Makes sense, my grandfather was the grown-up family man, and you were a teenager. If you noticed him at all, I’m sure it was just a passing hello brother wave.Right, I remember my cousin came and told me…He means our uncle’s daughter. Our uncle heard the news first and he told my father, and they rode to the game together. I’d find this out later, of course.I was sitting there, saving their seats, and thinking they should have been here by now. Call it a sixth sense but I was getting scared. I was looking around the gym and watching the door.And that’s how I saw my dad and my uncle the moment they walked in. My uncle never came to these games and now here he was with my dad.I jumped down from the bleachers and ran to them. That’s when they told me.I can’t for the life of me remember how I got home that night. Not sure if I left with them or if I rode the bus…I rode back home with my father. I walked in the door, and I hollered, “Mom! Carolyn’s dead!” And then I just started crying.I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Then mom said, “Gracie, go to your room and sleep.” I don’t know how I was expected to sleep after hearing that though. But mom and dad stayed up with Campbell.For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry you were left all by yourself with your grief that first night. I know you loved your nephew and his mother too.
January 2, 1948: A Day for Funerals
Everyone in this picture: gone in the blink of an eye. Do you see the necklace Carolyn is wearing? I gave her those pearls. She was wearing them in the car that night.She was so badly burned, that necklace was the only way they could identify my wife. They found her in the backseat hunched over our baby.They died on Thursday and the day after, schools were closed so that the teachers and students could go to Carolyn’s funeral. She was such a beloved music teacher.I guess you could say that in my time, we didn’t prolong rituals. We just got on with what needed to be done and dealt with it afterwards.I ordered a pink casket for her and had our baby put in there with her. That way Paul would always be with his mom.Then I ordered a pink double tombstone for them. Mrs. Kelly told me that it wouldn’t stay pink but that she also knew why I did it. Pink was Carolyn’s favorite color.Carolyn and Paul’s funeral was at 2pm. They were buried with my family. R.L.’s funeral was at 4pm in another county. So, I went to that one too.Someone needed to be there for the Kellys because they were burying their whole bloodline in a single day. Besides, I liked R.L.. He and his sister were close, and I know he’d have been a good uncle to Paul.The house was too quiet without my wife and baby in it. So, that’s how I finished the day. I moved back in with my parents.
Constructing My Grandfather’s Grieving Process
At the time, we lived at the cemetery. He used to just walk over there and spend hours at their grave.That’s so sad, but at the same time, I totally get it.I’ve been going through the box of letters and sympathy cards he got. I’m trying to find clues to the language of what might have been going through his head at this time.Some patterns I’ve noticed is that no one has made references to any letters they got from my grandfather. No conversations, not even by phone.And one guy wrote him twice, just to remind him that he wants my grandfather to come and stay with him and his family for a while.That was your grandfather, alright. We all grieve differently. His way was holding it in. It just wasn’t in him to let it out.I understand that. He wouldn’t have shared this period of his life. But the thing is, this is the crucial part that can help a lot of people. If I can just crack the code on what was going on inside his head.Grief drains our energy. Add to it the shock value of this kind of loss, the brain needs time to process it. There would have been moments of confusion, like “Did that really happen?”We know this as the denial period in the 5 stages of grief.Then I came upon some cards that were never even opened. Sure, we can assume that time magically resealed them. But my grandfather was slitting each envelope from the top or the side. Never from the seal.The thing about letters is, they’re usually just the tip of the iceberg…
Grieving Carolyn
How do you describe something when it’s too much? Like an overload of the senses and you can’t get much out.Every morning started off the same. That moment, right when I was waking up, I’d think to myself, was it all a dream? Then a couple seconds later, it’d hit me, and it was too much all over again.The letters and sympathy cards were flooding the mailbox. Practically everyone was trying to comfort me.I opened all my letters, I just stopped opening the cards after a while. I knew what was in those and who sent them, so I didn’t see much point in opening them.Everywhere I went, church or uptown, I’d see it. That pity in their eyes when they looked at me. How sorry they were for my loss and Carolyn was such a great lady. And then it was too much all over again.I visited the Kellys regularly. They were the only people I felt comfortable grieving around. But we did more than grieve. We talked about the good times we had with Carolyn, Paul, and R.L..I often imagined what was on Carolyn’s mind that night right before the wreck. I can’t help but think that Paul’s baby book must have been in her thoughts. She just loved recording important dates.Our baby was born on August 1st, he died with her on January 1st. He was exactly 5 months old. Carolyn was 20.Sure, they were all going to meet us at the game, but I guarantee you, had they lived she’d have updated his book first thing in the morning.We will never know if he gained much weight by his 5th month. His mother had been a little worried about that the last time.
Constructing My Grandfather’s Healing Process
This is my grandfather and his siblings gathered with their grandmother…my great-great grandmother.We know that this is months after the tragedy because Baby Faye would have been four months old when it happened. She is clearly older now, at least 7 months old.Some are wearing long sleeves, others in short sleeves. The weather is chilly for some but comfortable for others. So, it’s early spring.Jaena: My grandfather is smiling again, if only for the camera. Campbell: Only for the camera.Does his shirt look familiar? Perhaps both pictures were taken on the same day. He’s lost that spark in his eyes that he used to have. I’ll show you what I mean.Carolyn was in his life the whole time he was in the navy…See how he had that extra spark compared to the newer picture? He’s starting to mend but he has emotional scars now.I’ll tell you something about how our family was and still is, those of us who are left. I know some people like to say I love you every 15 minutes. Well, we were never like that, but we always knew anyway.I can’t tell you the last time I heard Gracie or Faye tell me they love me or the last time I said it to them. But I know if I ever need help, I can depend on them, and they can depend on me.That’s beautiful because actions really do speak louder than words. Without even trying, you were all acting as a secure base for him. You gave him his space while at the same time, he knew you were there for him.Do you know who really helped him heal? Baby Faye.A baby did?? Of course! Now it finally comes together!
Finding the Light Out of the Tunnel: 1948-1950
They say time heals all wounds. But that’s not true at all. Time numbs the pain and it’s up to us on how we’re going to use that time to heal it.One morning you wake up and you know you didn’t dream it. What happened really did happen. Then you cry again because it’s the first day you know they’re gone and that they’re never coming back.The first year is the hardest because every special occasion is the first one without them in it. Paul never got to see his first spring or the fireworks on the 4th of July or his birthday.There were lots of things he never got to do in his little body.But my baby sister Faye could. Had Paul lived, they’d have grown up together and become each other’s closest friend. So, I could mourn the loss of my baby, or I could take a special interest in Faye.I could watch him grow up through his first and only playmate. Be proud of every milestone and make sure Faye knows her oldest brother loves her like something fierce. And that’s what I did.This is an example of positive transference, the most beautiful way to use it.I kept visiting the Kellys. They gave me their blessing to fall in love again and start a new family. I wasn’t ready for that yet, but I swore to them that if I did, my children would know them.The one-year anniversary of my loss brought back too much again but the second anniversary was a lot easier. It was now 1950 and 3 major events happened that year.
1950: The Year of Major Events
The first one happened on the job. I was cutting some glass when my hand got caught in the machinery. I lost my thumb and the first and middle finger on my left hand. But I had stubs, so I wasn’t crippled.The second one was the Korean War. I tried to re-enlist but they took one look at my left hand and told me no. I argued and said, my hand works just fine. There’s nothing I can’t do with it.That’s true. There really wasn’t anything he couldn’t do with his left hand.I even tried to prove it to them. They still said no, making that the second time I tried and failed to fight for my country.The third thing that happened was, I met someone special. But before I tell you how I met her, I need to explain to you what dating was like in my time. See, there was a big difference between a date and going steady.Dates were more like friendly gatherings that happened to have an escort. So, going on a date with someone didn’t really mean anything.But if you were going steady, that was your girl, and you didn’t date anyone else. So, when I tell you that I met her on a double date and that my date was her sister, you will understand I never courted her sister.But my cousin had started going steady with her and that’s who I was on a double date with that night. Two cousins on a date with two sisters.
How He Met My Grandmother
So, there I was, sitting at the piano with her sister when my cousin’s date walked in the room. She was a knock-out! I couldn’t stop watching her as she walked across the room to my cousin.What’s more amazing is, she didn’t even seem to know she was beautiful. Her name was Pearlene. She was the oldest of a large family, like me and she was a sweetheart with quiet strength.Pearlene had substance. I learned that her mother got sick when she was 12, died when she was 18, and she stepped up to look after her siblings.The whole night it was like I was seeing my future and she was in it. I hadn’t felt this way since Carolyn, and I wasn’t even her date. But I wanted to be!So, after our date, my cousin and I were driving home. He said to me, “Ain’t I got a catch?”And so, I told him, “Cousin, I need you to know something. She’s your girl and I’m going to respect that. But if you two don’t work out, I’m going to do all that I can to make her my wife.”Lo and behold, they broke up a couple months later. They didn’t have any chemistry. But we sure did!I introduced her to my family, and then I introduced her to the Kellys. They all loved her. Then again, so did everyone else. It was like a life theme of hers, people just naturally loved her.I married Pearlene, just like I told my cousin I would. Then a couple years later, she made me a father again.
Healing from Sudden Loss
Bad things happen and there’s no way to prepare for it. If we could, it wouldn’t be called trauma, would it? All any of us can do is find the best way to handle it, in our own way and in our own time.Tragedy changes your life and then time does its trick with numbing the pain. That’s when you have to decide the kind of person you want to be and what kind of life you want to live.Some become bitter and live a lonely life. Others self-destruct because time can’t numb the pain fast enough. But I hope you find something that makes your life worth living, because that’s what it’s all about.The Kellys were key to finding my way. I was 21 years old when I lost my first family, but the Kellys lost everyone. Without me, they’d have no one.Healing isn’t about forgetting those you love just because they’re no longer with you. It’s about honoring their lives by making the one you’re living a meaningful one.I made my four children grow up feeling special, all because they had three sets of grandparents while everyone else only had two.Mrs. Kelly died first, or as my kids called her “Grandma Kelly.” That’s when we moved “Grandpa Kelly” in with us. He lived out the rest of his life with my family.When I look back on my life, I see what a lucky man I was. I got to fall in love with not one, but two wonderful women. And I had the good sense to marry them both.I lived another 45 years after I lost Carolyn. So, I am with her now.Just as I will be with Pearlene when it is her time to go.
Afterword
Mrs. Kelly was right about the pink tombstones my grandfather bought. If you gathered from the pictures, they have lost their color and weathered a good deal. However, since learning this fact, Campbell’s daughter and I have discussed getting it restored to its original color. I promised to go half with her.
When I visited Paul and Carolyn’s grave, I made a promise to them. That I would do everything in my power to give them all the respect that they were owed. I like to think that I honored my promise, since being true to my word is something my grandfather taught me.
I compared notes with my uncle who discovered the cedar chest (Campbell’s son). It was right at the same time I had asked my husband if I should make my next history comic about my grandfather. My husband’s lit up expression sealed the deal. When I told my uncle that, we both got chills. Call it divine providence or serendipity, but something decided that after seventy-four years, it was finally time to learn the full story. And oh, what a wild investigative adventure it has been!
Someone asked me if learning my grandfather’s story has impacted me in any way. My response is, first I’m extra mindful now when driving around a curve, or anywhere I can’t immediately see what’s up ahead. Sheer recklessness wiped out an entire bloodline in a single night. I don’t ever want something like that on my conscience. Second, I am here today because of that recklessness. A wonderful human being died a horrific death, but I can honor her life by being that much determined to be a good person and live a meaningful life. Isn’t that what it’s all about, as my grandfather would say?
11 thoughts on “His First Love, Carolyn: My Grandfather’s Recovery from Tragedy”
Mimi Margolin
I could not stop reading this, Jaena. A tragic and powerful story made all the more so knowing it was written from a place of love for your grandfather, respect for the discovery of truth, and boundless curiosity about life!
There are so many lessons in it for me… I’ve lost my son and granddaughter, not to a fiery crash, but to the evil insanity inside one woman’s being. And I get no cards of sympathy for these losses because they were not taken by death.
And then I lost my sister – not sister by blood, but sister by circumstance and time. I’ve received three cards, two by people I don’t even know, and one from a dear friend who does…
I am struggling in this grief; sometimes drowning. I want to keep your good grandfather – and you – in my heart as guides.
You’ve done amazing work, putting this together!! George W. would be proud.
“ Tragedy changes your life and then time does its trick with numbing the pain. That’s when you have to decide the kind of person you want to be and what kind of life you want to live.”
I am numb… you are helping me feel again.
Your grandfather would not be able to articulate that, but he would be proud of what you are doing to turn the tragedy and pain of your life into gifts for others. Thank you. Love you!
I can’t “mail” you a card but I can do the next best thing and share the contents inside my two favorite cards that my grandfather received. I know that he would gladly share his with you. (Both cards, you can see their covers in one of the pictures where my grandfather talked about the flood of sympathy cards and letters.) So, by sharing these cards, I want you to know that I am dedicating these sentiments to you. <3
The first is "Consolation". Inside this card reads: "May He who watches over us be with you in your sorrow to bring you comfort for today and courage for tomorrow."
The second is "She is Just Away" and inside this one is the most beautiful poem I've read in a long, long time:
"I cannot say, and I will not say...
That she is dead, --She is just away!
With a cheery smile and a wave of the hand,
She has wandered into the unknown land,
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since she lingers there.
And you-- O you, who the wildest yearn
For the old-time step and the glad return,-
Think of her faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here;
Think of her still as the same, I say:
She is not dead-- she is just away!"
(by James Whitcomb Riley)
Now, my friend, I've given you two cards from my grandfather's time and from my present day heart. Please take comfort and some more healing from this.
That poem, “She is Just Away” is absolutely perfect regarding my sister (friend) Judi…she has transitioned to the next dimension…as a friend of hers wrote. It’s true. As she lay dying, she kept telling me she was eager to see what the next universe would show her. And I know what ever it shows her, it will be beautiful, because she saw beauty where ever she looked.
Thank you so, so, so much!!
What a beautiful tribute to your grandfather. I’m sure he would be as proud of you as I am for sharing his story in such a warm, sensitive manner. What an honor for you to be his granddaughter as well as to your grandmother that also was part of the continued healing process.
Thank you so much! Yes, I am very proud to have his blood as part of my DNA. And my grandmother was a great match for him because she was a trauma warrior too. I couldn’t get too much into her story, because it would have taken away from my grandfather’s story. But yes, amazing people that I’m truly proud of. And of course, my step-grandmother (as I like to think of her…in the nice sense of course) Carolyn was a wonderful person too. My grandfather sure knew how to pick them! LOL!
Hello Jaena! What a fascinating and sad story. It’s amazing how the story was past down the actual truth to what happened to all these different versions of the event. When my father died on the first day of my Junior year on High school, I was numb that whole week. It wasn’t until after the funeral and a week later that I broke down crying knowing that he was gone. So I hope at of people will read this and can tell their experiences.
Hugs to you friend! Losing your father on your first day of (junior year) high school must have been one painful shock. What a terrible thing to go through so young. I think that people like you commenting will further inspire others to open up about their experiences. Feel free to expand more on your own story of grieving your father, if you would like. <3
I really loved taking this journey with you from afar! Not only did I love that he found a way to open his heart again & make the life he wanted, but his love & respect for the Kelly’s had me holding back tears. What a beautiful, remarkable man. Thank you for sharing his story.♡
I could not stop reading this, Jaena. A tragic and powerful story made all the more so knowing it was written from a place of love for your grandfather, respect for the discovery of truth, and boundless curiosity about life!
There are so many lessons in it for me… I’ve lost my son and granddaughter, not to a fiery crash, but to the evil insanity inside one woman’s being. And I get no cards of sympathy for these losses because they were not taken by death.
And then I lost my sister – not sister by blood, but sister by circumstance and time. I’ve received three cards, two by people I don’t even know, and one from a dear friend who does…
I am struggling in this grief; sometimes drowning. I want to keep your good grandfather – and you – in my heart as guides.
You’ve done amazing work, putting this together!! George W. would be proud.
“ Tragedy changes your life and then time does its trick with numbing the pain. That’s when you have to decide the kind of person you want to be and what kind of life you want to live.”
I am numb… you are helping me feel again.
Your grandfather would not be able to articulate that, but he would be proud of what you are doing to turn the tragedy and pain of your life into gifts for others. Thank you. Love you!
I can’t “mail” you a card but I can do the next best thing and share the contents inside my two favorite cards that my grandfather received. I know that he would gladly share his with you. (Both cards, you can see their covers in one of the pictures where my grandfather talked about the flood of sympathy cards and letters.) So, by sharing these cards, I want you to know that I am dedicating these sentiments to you. <3
The first is "Consolation". Inside this card reads: "May He who watches over us be with you in your sorrow to bring you comfort for today and courage for tomorrow."
The second is "She is Just Away" and inside this one is the most beautiful poem I've read in a long, long time:
"I cannot say, and I will not say...
That she is dead, --She is just away!
With a cheery smile and a wave of the hand,
She has wandered into the unknown land,
And left us dreaming how very fair
It needs must be, since she lingers there.
And you-- O you, who the wildest yearn
For the old-time step and the glad return,-
Think of her faring on, as dear
In the love of There as the love of Here;
Think of her still as the same, I say:
She is not dead-- she is just away!"
(by James Whitcomb Riley)
Now, my friend, I've given you two cards from my grandfather's time and from my present day heart. Please take comfort and some more healing from this.
That poem, “She is Just Away” is absolutely perfect regarding my sister (friend) Judi…she has transitioned to the next dimension…as a friend of hers wrote. It’s true. As she lay dying, she kept telling me she was eager to see what the next universe would show her. And I know what ever it shows her, it will be beautiful, because she saw beauty where ever she looked.
Thank you so, so, so much!!
What a beautiful tribute to your grandfather. I’m sure he would be as proud of you as I am for sharing his story in such a warm, sensitive manner. What an honor for you to be his granddaughter as well as to your grandmother that also was part of the continued healing process.
Thank you so much! Yes, I am very proud to have his blood as part of my DNA. And my grandmother was a great match for him because she was a trauma warrior too. I couldn’t get too much into her story, because it would have taken away from my grandfather’s story. But yes, amazing people that I’m truly proud of. And of course, my step-grandmother (as I like to think of her…in the nice sense of course) Carolyn was a wonderful person too. My grandfather sure knew how to pick them! LOL!
Hello Jaena! What a fascinating and sad story. It’s amazing how the story was past down the actual truth to what happened to all these different versions of the event. When my father died on the first day of my Junior year on High school, I was numb that whole week. It wasn’t until after the funeral and a week later that I broke down crying knowing that he was gone. So I hope at of people will read this and can tell their experiences.
Hugs to you friend! Losing your father on your first day of (junior year) high school must have been one painful shock. What a terrible thing to go through so young. I think that people like you commenting will further inspire others to open up about their experiences. Feel free to expand more on your own story of grieving your father, if you would like. <3
❤
So sorry so sad,but a happy ending.
I really loved taking this journey with you from afar! Not only did I love that he found a way to open his heart again & make the life he wanted, but his love & respect for the Kelly’s had me holding back tears. What a beautiful, remarkable man. Thank you for sharing his story.♡
What a wonderful thing to say about my grandfather. Yes, his loyalty to the Kellys has always been beautiful to me as well. Thank you! <3