Negative Noticing and the Power of Our Sensory Filters

Negative noticing is a type of cognitive distortion. Like its name implies, it means we are overly noticing the negative. This leads to problems that keep us stuck in the same hamster wheel of negative beliefs. Because when we only notice the negative, we will keep “confirming” and “re-confirming” them.

Think “sensory filters” because that’s how the brain works while it’s scanning our surroundings. If we take in every single thing that’s going on around us, we will have a sensory overload. And then say goodbye to our focus, and we’ll never find anything we’re looking for. So, the brain filters out what it deems unnecessary and that way, we can pay attention to what’s important. We teach our brain what’s important to look for.

For example, if we are on our guard and we’re fully expecting danger up ahead, those “sensory filters” will kick in. We start scanning for possible threats and exit strategies. But in the process, we overlook safe places and safe people.

The same can be said in less intense situations. When we’re just going about our day, going to work or picking up something from the store, our “sensory filters” are still on. We’re just less aware of them. But they are always scanning for ways to solidify our beliefs. If we believe the world is cruel and uncaring, that’s exactly what we’re going to notice. But just like the above example, we won’t notice the good.

How Negative Noticing Develops

Negative noticing develops in a similar way as intermittent reinforcement (Trauma Glossary 1) but in reverse. Both get stuck in a cognitive distortion that’s doing them no good. One anticipates the positive, while the other anticipates the negative. Let’s take a look at something that I refer to as the “1 out of 10 Factor”.

• Intermittent Reinforcement: (also known as breadcrumbing) This is a type of psychological abuse that keeps the victim hooked in a toxic relationship by living for that one positive experience with their partner.
• Negative Noticing: This is a habit that develops from being on our guard. We keep anticipating one negative encounter.
  
  
• Intermittent Reinforcement: The victim uses the one good experience as “confirmation” that the relationship is a good one. Then they forget or dismiss the nine other times that were bad.
• Negative Noticing: When the negative encounter happens, we use it as “confirmation” that the whole world is bad. Then we forget or dismiss the nine other times that were good.

Do you see the opposite commonalities? Both are using one experience to cancel out the nine contradictory ones. And both will stay stuck until they dare to notice the overwhelming contrary evidence. Now that we understand the basics, let’s watch its development in action. Because this example is more slice of life than a life story. It was my earliest experience with negative noticing but it wouldn’t be my last.

My Own Example

My first job was at a fast food restaurant. Anyone who has worked in customer service will tell you three things. The first is that you will deal with all types of people. And the second is, you must remain professional and accommodating, no matter what. The third is, every once in a while, you will get that one customer who is on a mission to destroy someone’s day. Getting their order is just an excuse to watch the one behind the counter put up with their abusive behavior.

Those first few months at my job were fine. I was able to smile and accommodate all types of people. That was until I dealt with that one type on a mission to destroy my day. Then a few months later, I dealt with another one of those types. I became more guarded and stopped smiling. I treated each customer like I fully expected them to behave like that one type.

This caused the otherwise nice customers to respond to me with less warmth than they had before. And this, in turn caused me to perceive all of my customers as potentially that one type. Then, the funniest thing happened to my perception. I became easily triggered by other types. A customer who was just in an irritable mood, for example, could cause me to raise my hackles in self-defense. “Ah-ha!” I would think. “You are another one of those. Well, I won’t give you the satisfaction of wielding your little power trip over me.”

Before long, I hated my job and I hated all of my customers. Of course, they weren’t too fond of me either, and I can’t say that I blame them.

We Get Back What We Put In: It’s More Than a Cliché

Just like my example showed, when we expect the darkness, we tend to dim our ability to notice the light. Our experiences shape our beliefs. And our beliefs help us know who we are and then they give us a foundation on figuring out ways to navigate our world. So, our “sensory filters” kick in and help us do just that. That’s why whatever we believe is exactly what we are going to find.

If we believe the world is a cruel and uncaring place, our sensory filters will scan for negativity. The good is deemed unnecessary and so, it gets filtered out. And that’s how we achieve a “confirmation bias” that the world really is cruel and uncaring. We know how to respond to what we notice based on what has worked and what hasn’t in the past. But when we are using the same attitude based on our unchallenged negative beliefs, we close ourselves off from the good parts of the world. We appear less approachable and so, others will respond to us with decreased openness and warmth. Then negative noticing becomes our reality.

There is Usually More Going On Behind Our Negative Noticing

Let’s start with the example I shared with you. Why on earth did I change my whole attitude on the job because of two bullying customers? Well, I was sixteen years old, and of course, still living in an abusive home. My borderline mother was the queen of baiting (both underlined terms in Trauma Glossary 1). And the two bully customers used the same tactics. Demanding, insulting, and raging at me, all while taking a perverse pleasure out of the sixteen-year-old forced to take it because she was working behind the counter. I was dealing with enough of that in my home life and so I was hellbent on not experiencing it outside my home too. My guard was up, way up. Today we know this as hyper-vigilance.

I refer to my earliest experience with negative noticing as my “Negative Noticing 1.0” because that one was only triggered on the job. But I was still seeing the rest of my world as a good enough place. That was until my early adult years and a series of unfortunate events happened. Then “Negative Noticing 2.0” ran my life for over two decades and I saw my whole world as bad.

So, what are some other problems that could be causing us to stay stuck in this hamster wheel of negative beliefs? Well, the short answer is, see Trauma Glossary 2, because any number of those ongoing problems could be the culprit.

Traumatic Events Create Trust Issues

It’s understandable that when bad things happen, we want to protect ourselves from it happening again. We might worry over getting close with others because being vulnerable comes with the risk of feeling powerless.

Or it could be that our self-abandonment programming is so intense, we believe that everyone wants something from us. And we have multiple experiences that back up this belief. So, it must be true that there’s something about us that makes others “take advantage of us”. But in reality, we never learned how to assert, set boundaries, or say “no”.

Or maybe we doubt ourselves. We believe that no one cares what we have to say because “we aren’t good enough”. And then we get so caught in perfecting ourselves, we dismiss those who are giving us positive feedback. We know this as impostor syndrome.

These are just a few of the examples of what might be going on behind our negative noticing. But that’s the beauty of healing. We discover our core problems and then we learn ways we can start seeing more clearly and live our best lives.

Giving Our Sensory Filters Something New to Find

There are tools for negative noticing in Master Toolbox 1, among many other problems listed in Trauma Glossary 2. But my favorite tool is something called positive feedback loops. It starts with telling our sensory filters what to do. The next time you’re in a public setting, even if it’s the supermarket, tell your sensory filters the following, “I’m here for one reason, but I also want to scan for positivity.” And be firm with your intention. You’ll be surprised by the number of smiling faces and acts of kindness you will notice. But that’s just step one.

The next step is engaging with what you see. Even if it’s a passing complement or meeting the eyes of a smiling face and smiling back. Step three is notice their positive reaction and then notice how it makes you feel empowered in all the right ways. The more you use this tool, the faster you will escape the hamster wheel of negative noticing.