Boss Dopamine in the House of Habits and Desires

Dopamine is the body chemical that begins with, “I want.” Whatever the want is. Then it develops our habits by what works to get it. Thus, how “boss” dopamine is the chief influencer of our happiness hormones. It can make or break our mood (Serotonin) and social interactions (Oxytocin). So, what happens to our dopamine levels when we’re unable to get what we want? What if our habits don’t lead to growth?

The key to understanding dopamine is through the stress chemical, cortisol. That’s because they have a major converter in common: norepinephrine. Norepinephrine’s keyword is focused attention, which is why both dopamine and cortisol rely on this one. The problem is norepinephrine is a stress hormone. If dopamine spends too much time with norepinephrine and not enough time with its other converter, cortisol will take over. Last week, we covered cortisol and its two converters by comparing it to the boss of two opposite employees. Now let’s see how Boss Dopamine operates.

The following terms from section 3 of Trauma Glossary 3 are covered in this article: Cortisol; Dopamine; Endorphins; Norepinephrine. Also referenced are: Oxytocin; Serotonin; Epinephrine (Adrenaline).

In the House of Habits and Desires: Boss Dopamine

Dopamine is the visionary kind of boss who knows what it wants and offers the best incentives for getting it. That’s why Norepinephrine likes working for this boss more than Boss Cortisol. Boss Dopamine gives Norepinephrine the opportunity to go outside the boundaries of mere survival and into making achievements. So, when Dopamine says, “I want” Norepinephrine springs to action. Its endurance and focus are the driver for seeing the job to completion.

Endorphins’ job is to keep up the morale by reminding Norepinephrine of a job well done. Endorphins know how to throw a party, too. The most lavish ones are when Serotonin or Oxytocin are invited. Serotonin (mood stabilizer) reminds Norepinephrine to take a break, because it deserves one. Oxytocin (social memory) gives a speech, where it quotes all the positive things people have said about Norepinephrine’s progress. Thus how Endorphins supply Norepinephrine with the incentive to keep going.

When we get what we want, we start trusting what we did to earn it. Dopamine’s strength relies on both employees working in harmony. When they do, we can develop our confidence and self-esteem, the foundation of our identity. We can say with pride, “This is who I am and this is what I do.”

Overusing the Stress Hormone

Each time Dopamine uses Norepinephrine, Cortisol automatically comes along for the ride. This is how we sometimes get increased levels of both dopamine and cortisol, because they’re sharing the same converter. Norepinephrine has the power to wield “I want” into a reality and Boss Dopamine knows it. Cortisol is trying to keep our stress response regulated. All Norepinephrine needs from dopamine is an incentive and a reward. So, as long as Boss Dopamine remembers to celebrate the little wins while it’s chasing the big ones, the stress hormone stays regulated. Sometimes, the boss forgets that part and things don’t end well.

Without rewards or incentives, there’s no innovation and therefore, no personal growth. We fall back on habits that met our old needs but won’t help us meet our new ones. Any time we develop more trust in our habits than in ourselves, setbacks will feel catastrophic. And that’s when Boss Dopamine has to pay the piper…

Cortisol’s Hostile Takeover

When norepinephrine is stuck in mundane routine for too long, its ability to reason is hijacked when confronted by anything that throws it off. So, when cortisol swoops in to manage the crisis, it’s using only one of its converters: adrenaline. Adrenaline specializes in immediate problems. That’s the good news. The bad news is, adrenaline doesn’t use common sense. Adrenaline sees every problem but has no foresight for a good solution. Suffice to say, this leads to poor decisions, the kind that soothe the momentary crisis while creating obstacles for tomorrow.

My Poor Decision Day as an Example

May of 2021, I started pushing myself hard on setting up this site and going live already. That’s what my dopamine wanted. I was on the phone with tech support every day because I had a lot to learn. I was juggling work, setting up my site and preparing my cornerstone content. Then of course, I had to learn how to turn my homemade history comics and visual aids into digital creations. The tech support was my lifeline but they didn’t come cheap. So, I kept rushing and learning all that I could each day. I was challenging my oldest trauma response (habit), which was to isolate and not put myself out there. I was in a hurry and I didn’t want to waste my precious time soothing or assuring my norepinephrine.

First came insomnia, as I was waking up from three or four hours’ sleep in a panic attack. I knew why, but I told my body “Suck it up, buttercup because we’re doing this.” My dopamine was bullying my norepinephrine. I’d let it have it’s little endorphin party after I went live and not one day earlier than that. I got increasingly irritable as my insomnia days were daily and going live felt like it was taking too long.

This went on into early July when I lost my debit/credit card. (I’ve sworn off credit cards for life, by the way.) Blind panic set in as I imagined my bank account wiped out, because I forgot I had fraud protection. But it gets even better! I called my bank right away and they gave me two options. I could get a new card that day if I was willing to drive to the bank, or I could wait 7-10 business days if they mailed it to me…

Bad Decision Day Leads to Bad Karma Day

Common sense would have chosen the first option. Inconvenience today so that the rest of the week would be easier. However, I wasn’t using common sense. I was thinking with my adrenaline and it caused me to over-focus on the now. I didn’t want my day wasted by driving “all the way” to the bank. So, I told them to mail me my new card.

My karma day hit me just three days later via email. My monthly tech support bill was due but because my old card was deactivated, my tech support was suspended until my new card arrived. The good news is, I was forced to relax and practice self-care for a change. And I learned a valuable lesson about messing with my stress hormones. If you push them too far they will push you right back.

Boss Dopamine Wants to Learn from Mistakes

The good news is, cortisol’s hostile takeover is temporary as long as you learn from the mistake. It’s all in the perspective. For example, I could have taken that bad decision day and used it to define myself as “dumb, stupid” or any term that implies I’m not smart enough to blog for complex-PTSD. I could have used that bad decision day as an excuse to give up on everything I was trying to do. And to be perfectly honest, had I not studied our body chemicals prior to my bad decision day, I may have given myself a lot of negative self-talk. But thanks to learning how our stress chemicals work, I was able to understand what was happening in my body that day and separate myself from the poor decision.

It isn’t easy being the chief influencer of the happy hormones. But dopamine knows the key to making a positive influence on them is getting us out of survivor mode. So, contrary to popular belief, dopamine isn’t always a happy hormone, nor is it always stuck on addictive behaviors. The key to building good dopamine is actually somewhere in the middle. It works with a stress hormone as a means of building an “anchor” for breaking barriers. Then, it works with the hormone that knows no other emotion but happiness. When it works in harmony with both, it has the power to heal old wounds and improve our core beliefs.

Whatever habits we develop out of dopamine, be sure to include self-care and positive affirmations. Progress is sneaky. We don’t often know what we’re made of until we catch ourselves in the act of resolving a problem better than we had before. Celebrate those milestones.

Further Reading

A while back, I wrote my first Heal-Along. It was a fictional character named Primitive Man, where I explained the Hippocampus (our brain’s memory storage). In his story, you will see how he worked through a “small t” trauma (covered in last week’s article on cortisol). Then he developed his dopamine levels and used it to save his tribe by the story’s conclusion. Though I never named any of the body chemicals, you will see how his positive “confirmation” experiences became permanent memories, which led to innovation. Click here to read that article.

I’ll be back next week with our wrap-up article on body chemicals with four visual aids.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Translate »