Hyper-vigilance is a fear-based state of scanning for threats even in non-threatening situations. We tend to think of threats as the life-threatening kind. However, there are also the sort of threats that won’t hurt us physically and that’s why we often overlook these. We also tend to scan for threats to our emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. And so, in this article we will explore a broader understanding of our perceived threats. Especially for how it relates to hyper-vigilance when we have Complex-PTSD.
When our childhood involves living with a Cluster B disordered (Trauma Glossary 1) parent, hyper-vigilance is a lifestyle. Survival hinges on anticipating the house tyrant’s shifting moods and triggers. Stay safe by accommodating the tyrant and disregarding ourselves. We have no choice but to normalize the abuses that don’t leave bruises. And so, we enter adulthood not knowing how to validate ourselves. Our bodies are stuck in hyper-vigilance and this impacts our perception.
The Body Stuck in Fight-or-Flight
Armoring and paradoxical breathing are the two most obvious signs the body is stuck in hyper-vigilance. First, there are tools for both conditions in Master Toolbox 1. And the more we practice them, the greater chance we have of releasing it from our bodies forever. Because trauma is holding on to us, not the other way around.
Armoring means having constant tension in the body, even at rest. For many of us, having spent our whole lives in our trauma bodies, it feels normal to us. Until we are in a situation that calls for body relaxation and we can’t will our body to fully do so. And then we think, hmm, why can’t my body relax? That’s because of the muscle tension that’s still living in the past. Think of what happens when watching an edge-of-your seat thriller. Our muscles tense up in anticipation of what the movie’s villain will do next. And so it is for armoring. We grew up inside our own real life thriller, constantly on edge and anticipating the tyrant’s next outburst so often, that it conditioned our muscles into staying tense. Other examples of armoring include clenching jaws and sitting stiffly, or having a “too perfect” posture.
Paradoxical breathing means breathing backwards. Place your hands on your stomach and notice if it’s expanding or going inward on the inhale. If it’s going inward on the inhale, you are breathing backwards. Going with the thriller movie analogy, when the villain jumps out unexpectedly, it startles us. And when we are startled, we take a huge gasp of air as the stomach clenches inward. Too many startling incidents create paradoxical breathing.
Other Problems Impacted by Hyper-Vigilance
When it comes to trauma, the body is keeping the score. Now that we have lain the foundation of what hyper-vigilance does to the body, let’s talk about the sort of cognitive problems it creates. All terms are in Trauma Glossary 2 (Ongoing Problems You May Have). While you may not identify with all of them, it’s to help you understand the possible range of your own hyper-vigilance and what it might be triggering.
- Anxiety, both generalized and social. After all, anxiety is part of our fight-or-flight emotions.
- Catastrophizing: This is an intense and painful fear. We imagine the worst case scenario and treat it like a foregone conclusion. It tends to trigger procrastination because the emotions are overwhelming our ability to reason.
- Impostor Syndrome: This is when we believe we are less competent and deserving than we truly are. The fear is being seen as a fraud. And so, impostor syndrome tends to focus on perfectionism, over-preparedness, and over-thinking.
- Negative Noticing: This is where our outer-world perception comes into play. When over-guarding ourselves in public places becomes our norm, it does something to our brain’s sensory filters. We start only noticing the bad while overlooking the good. And this keeps “confirming” our beliefs that the whole world is against us.
- Self-Abandonment: Abandoning the self to please others. There tends to be a fear of consequences when setting a boundary. And when we do set one, we lean towards over-explaining.
Excessiveness and Overcompensating
Obviously, when we fear something, we do everything we can to protect ourselves. Anything to keep that fear from manifesting. And so, we develop coping strategies. These tend to be:
- Perfectionism because any minor flaw feels like a deadly consequence. It comes from a place of overcompensating for feeling “not good or skilled enough”.
- Preparedness because we fear the unexpected and doubt our ability to handle it. And so, we attempt to meticulously plan ahead. But when we do this excessively, we become rigidly set in our ways and even more stuck in this trauma response. Then we are less prepared to recover from life’s setbacks.
- People Pleasing because ONE person’s negative feedback tends to cancel out nine other people’s assurances. We are vulnerable to criticism because we secretly believe in whatever flaw we hear someone point out. Then we go out of our way to please that one person as a means of soothing that inner shame.
- Over-Thinking because we feel like we are a step or two behind everyone else. There’s a fear of being seen as awkward, wrong, or stupid. Over-thinkers tend to look for hidden meaning in everything and are distrustful of simple solutions.
- Over-Explaining because we have so much self-doubt, we fear that others will doubt anything we have to say. Over-explainers tend to have an over-concern with thoroughness that becomes overwhelming.
For the first three, (perfectionism, preparedness, and people pleasing) they are part of The 5 Deadly P’s. Why do we call them the “deadly P’s”? Well, they aren’t life-threatening but they do feed a vicious cycle that holds us back in life. If you want a broader understanding of the deadly P’s and what we can do escape the cycle, that article is (here).
But what about the last two? Let’s explore them.
Over-Thinking and Over-Explaining as a Side Effect of Hyper-Vigilance
Over-Thinking
Over-thinkers had the sort of parents who made them feel stupid and lazy. Though they may not have ever used those words, the meaning behind their mental and emotional abuse was clearly there. And so, over-thinkers believe that they must put in extra effort to make up for what they are lacking.
Life is confusing to the over-thinker who feels a step or two behind everyone else. And there is an almost primal need to make sense out of it so that they can finally “catch up” with everyone else. It isn’t uncommon for the over-thinker to have a mental processing addiction, which is an addiction to learning. The constant hunger for knowledge is the analytical version of an eating disorder. It’s filling in the void of their unmet needs from childhood.
Over-thinkers read too much into situations and then spend a lot of time ruminating on it later. “What did this person mean when they said or looked at me that way?” worries the over-thinker. They tend to have social anxiety because their hyper-vigilance is triggered by fears of others seeing them as awkward or stupid. And so, there’s a tendency to “rehearse” and over-check the facts before sharing whatever it is they want to contribute.
Over-thinkers tend to make tasks harder than they have to be because anything simple brings up the shameful memories of when they were told they were lazy. It’s easy for overthinkers to get swept up in both perfectionism and workaholism, especially if they feel awkward in social settings. Then the only time they feel accepted is when others are admiring their energy, endurance, and hard work. In a society that applauds busyness, it’s like peer pressure for grown-ups to the over-thinker. They become a human doing instead of a human being.
Over-Explaining
Over-explainers come from gaslighting parents who were verbally aggressive and unempathetic. These types of parents enjoy using the double bind and circular argument, which is creating an argument without any hope of a resolution. It just keeps going on and on. Those who use the circular argument tend to pull their victim into responding with JADE (Justify, Argue, Deny, Explain).
Hence, how the over-explainer learns to over-explain themselves. The over-explainer has an eye for detail and thoroughness but lacks discernment for what is relevant. When all is relevant, nothing is. That’s why the over-explainer easily loses their sense of direction.
The over-explainer has so much self-doubt that they constantly expect others to doubt anything they have to say. It is this fear that triggers their hyper-vigilance. They tend to explain the same point from multiple angles because they believe it’s the only chance they have at being understood.
Over-explainers tend to be people pleasers. That’s because if even one person doubts them, it brings up painful memories of being ridiculed. They also tend to over-explain their need for boundaries, which makes them an easy target for those who push boundaries. Because nothing exposes a lack of confidence in one’s needs faster than over-explaining one’s need for a boundary.
Further Reading
Hyper-vigilance is how we guard ourselves against our worst fears. But when we do that, we tend to go overboard and it keeps us stuck in those fears and the same trauma responses. Awareness of what’s going on and why is always step one. The next step is to dare and practice less overcompensating and more being on our side. And that means validating ourselves and understanding our basic human rights. Undoing these fear-based habits are challenging and it won’t happen overnight. But our trauma didn’t develop overnight either. So, practice patience, self-compassion, and self-discovery. Get to know the person you are instead of the lies your parents misled you to see in yourself.
So, apart from the tools for working hyper-vigilance out of our bodies and for escaping the vicious cycle of the 5 Deadly P’s (embedded links earlier in this article), we can also work through the other problems impacted by hyper-vigilance. Hyper-vigilance is a cognitive distortion, but so is Catastrophizing, Impostor Syndrome, Negative Noticing, and Self-Abandonment. And I have written articles on each one and what we can do about them.
Catastrophizing is here.
Impostor Syndrome is here.
Negative Noticing is here.
My article on setting boundaries was part two of my article on self-abandonment. And it is linked with the one on boundaries. That article is here.
Great article. One that has awakened my awareness towards healing. Thank you for this.
Oh! You made my day, I’m so glad I’ve helped a trauma warrior like yourself. It’s an honor.