Arguing meaningful matters with a Cluster B Disorder leaves people with a feeling of confusion. It’s like holding onto an eel, like trying to pin down air, like seeing the naked emperor whose clothes everybody else is gushing over. The experience of being on the receiving end of cluster B argumentation has a distinct nature …
Cluster Arguments and Denialism – The Emperor’s Catwalk Read More »
Evil has always existed throughout history and it will continue existing. One doesn’t have to be a spiritual believer to understand this fundamental truth. And yet we don’t often hear this word today. Why? It’s because the process of rebranding evil has been going on for so long, usage of the term is becoming the …
Rebranding Evil and the Abuser’s Culture Propaganda Read More »
The Case For Maintaining Stigma and Judgement of BPD Behavior Cluster B individuals all deny obvious realities as part of their mind games. In BPD in particular, this takes the shape of insisting that things happened in a way that they feel justifies their intense emotions and abusive temper tantrums. These are not unconscious acts, …
BPD – My Feelings ARE the Facts Read More »
We hear of the domestic violence victim who stays or keeps going back to their abuser. And until we understand coercive control, we will keep asking, Why can’t they just leave? We are asking the wrong question. The victim is free to leave at any time in the physical sense. But coercive control is psychological …
Coercive Control is the Reason They Can’t “Just Leave” Read More »
“Less and more?” you may ask. “Don’t you mean less is more?” Well, if this was a topic on minimalism, we would be discussing the latter. However, this is a tool for increasing our bandwidth to see our goals as more within our reach. First we declutter the mind and address, “What is it I …
Less and More: A Self-Exploration Tool for Improving Habits Read More »
I spoke of the healing powers of creativity and how to unlock your own last week. One sure sign of healing is when our creativity starts to flourish. But in what direction varies from person to person. Just as no two healing journeys are the same, the same applies to our creative journey. So, since …
My Creative Journey So Far: A Heal-Along with Jaena Read More »
Maximize creativity does not mean perfecting a skill. At least, not where healing is concerned. It’s safely practicing new things, recovering from mistakes, and learning to associate our creative lessons with life. Not all healing work has to feel like work. In fact, this article addresses the magical healing powers of right-brain work. Creativity, that …
Maximize Your Creativity for Maximum Healing Read More »
Hyper-vigilance is a fear-based state of scanning for threats even in non-threatening situations. We tend to think of threats as the life-threatening kind. However, there are also the sort of threats that won’t hurt us physically and that’s why we often overlook these. We also tend to scan for threats to our emotional, mental, and …
Hyper-Vigilance: The Over-Guarding of the Self Read More »
Setting boundaries and holding firm to them is the greatest challenge in our Complex-PTSD community. That’s because our self-abandonment programming tends to run our life. Until we do the healing work, of course. You see, behind our programming is toxic shame. And so, when attempting to assert, it tends to trigger a shame spiral, or …
Setting Boundaries and Holding Your Position Read More »
True story time. In 2014, I shared my dirty little secret with my therapist. “I don’t like helping people.” Yes, I – who considers myself a servant to my Complex-PTSD community and gets much satisfaction from doing so – once said and fully believed my own words. That’s how severe my self-abandonment programming once was. …
Self-Abandonment: People Pleasing versus Helping People Read More »
