What happens next? How long will this take? Where is my rhythm? Any time you work these answers, you are using your brain’s timekeeper. Its medical term is dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, but that’s a mouthful. Thanks to trauma researcher, Bessel Van der Kolk, (The Body Keeps the Score) we have a simplified nickname. The Timekeeper oversees our motor timing, our perception of time, and event planning. So, quite literally, it’s concerned with all things time.
The timekeeper is one of the key parts of the brain that must be online to successfully heal our trauma. It assists the thalamus (being present, link to last week’s article) in maintaining the window of tolerance by understanding the uncomfortable moment will end. (How long will this take? and What happens next?) If the moment doesn’t feel like it will end, our window will collapse. We will become hyper-aroused (Fight or Flight) or hypo-aroused (dissociate Trauma Glossary 2) and the moment will no longer feel tolerable.
Weeks back the most important parts of the brain for healing trauma and how they work together was introduced. That article is here. This week, we’re covering the timekeeper and how it impacts us in our daily lives. There are skill building tools for the timekeeper in Master Toolbox 2, but the thing about skill builders is, they take time. (See what I did there?)
Whenever we set a goal for the day, week, or a year long investment, we are using our timekeeper. So, obviously we don’t want to put our goals on hold until it strengthens. We need to understand the problems that might come up and ways we can work around them in our present.
Foundation Resources for the Timekeeper
The following terms from Trauma Glossary 3 will be referenced: (Limbic System) Hippocampus, Thalamus (Prefrontal Cortex) Timekeeper.
Busy Work vs. Productive is one of the tools for the Timekeeper in Master Toolbox 2 for good reason. There’s a difference between the busy worker and the productive one, and many articles have been written on this subject. The busy worker is the workaholic who is enslaved to time itself. As a…semi-recovering workaholic, myself, I can confirm that busy work has everything to do with our brain’s timekeeper. That’s why we will be exploring some cautionary tales that are worth learning from the busy worker.
The hippocampus is our brain’s “hard drive” (memory storage) and its two major pathways are to the thalamus and timekeeper. Our memories are the driving force between where we are now and our life’s direction. A quick reference in four visual aids is here. For we will also be exploring ways we can work with our recent memories to build a better future. So, stay tuned.
Our Perception of Time: The Most Major and Common Problem
When I introduced this series on the parts of the brain, I included some Murphy’s Laws. What is Murphy’s Law for the timekeeper? The cliché, time flies when we’re having fun applies here. But also, the reverse: time stands still in uncomfortable situations. In both cases, time is moving at the same speed, it simply “feels like” it isn’t.
Do you know what else makes us lose time? Dissociation (Trauma Glossary 2). In the Complex-PTSD community, many of us coped by “dissociating our childhood away” or as much as we could. It helped us when fight or flight was not an option, but it also gave us our pre-settings for coping in the present. So, now we need to take extra special care that we don’t dissociate our adult lives away.
Binge watching a show or being pulled inward by our thoughts are common examples (hypo focusing). But so is that trauma response known as workaholism (hyper focusing), because when we are busy, time zips by just as quickly. From the outside looking in, the hyper focused doesn’t appear to be dissociating, for they are so active and engaged in what they are doing. But that’s the illusion. At least the hypo focused is dissociating to a calm place in their mind that quells the nervous system. Not so for the hyper focused, who is dissociating into increased stress.
White Rabbit Syndrome: Being Triggered by Time Itself
Alice: How long is forever?
White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second.
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
When we meet the White Rabbit, his pocket watch has triggered him into a panic. “Oh dear, I’m late!” he cries. Thus begins the White Rabbit’s story arc, enslaved to time by a pocket watch, the source of his hyper focus that’s directing all of his decisions. Because this is Alice’s story, not the White Rabbit’s we never see how his day began, much less how he lost so much time. However, there are enough clues in his story to suggest that his day began with a perspective of time that couldn’t be more opposite from when we first see him.
Busy Work vs. Productive: The White Rabbit’s Prequel
The most marked feature of the busy worker is their long to-do list. That’s because they start the day with an exaggerated perspective of time. Having a full day in front of them “feels like” they have all the time in the world. Naturally, when we have all the time in the world, we have time to accomplish anything. That’s how the busy worker ends up expecting each task to take up less time than reality. However, as the day zips by with the busy worker hyper focused on their tasks, they become aware of the lost time. That’s when the busy worker panics and a funny reversal happens in their perception. Suddenly, the amount of time left in the day is translated into having no time left at all. And here is when we meet the White Rabbit, who notices the time and immediately panics.
There is something else the busy worker can glean from the White Rabbit. He responds rudely to anyone who pulls him into the present. The White Rabbit is so caught up in his mission, that the slightest interruption feels like a threat. They are holding him back; they are wasting his time. It is soon revealed that Wonderland has a tyrant ruler, the Queen of Hearts and that’s the source of his panic. “Off with their heads!” is the Queen’s favorite line. Because she has a history of doing so over minor offenses, the White Rabbit has predicted his demise if he is late. So, no wonder he’s in a panic.
But where is the tyrant in the life of the busy worker? The answer is living inside their head.
What Happens Next? The Timekeeper and Our Goals
As the busy worker can glean a lot from the White Rabbit, so we can glean a lot from the busy worker. No one is more hyper focused on goals than the busy worker. Just ask them why they work so hard and they will tell you that they want to achieve great things with their lives. And yet, with all the hustle and focus the busy worker throws into each day, their work is mediocre. They never quite get around to achieving greatness, but “someday they will,” or so they tell themselves. All they have to do is work a little harder…and stay in the hamster wheel of more mediocrity.
The busy worker is addicted to doing, because it’s the only way they are happy with themselves in the moment. The busy worker is a pathological planner because they live for the future. They neglect the present, including their own needs in it. If they reflect on their day at all, it’s with shame over everything left undone. No wonder they stay stuck, for they are working in the opposite direction of our brain’s science.
When we aren’t present, we are looping between the past and future. We feel untethered in time and space without a map to guide us. Just ask the busy worker why they love to plan everything. They are mapping their loop. It’s a means of anchoring themselves because they don’t know how to be present.
Reframing Our Habits for a Brighter Tomorrow
Reflect on Your Day
When we understand the science, we know what we need to do to start living our best lives and achieve our dreams. As we saw in the above diagram, our past is the backbone of our present and future. Good memories build confidence and self-esteem, which will greatly impact everything else. No matter how painful our old memories are, we can build good memories out of our recent past. All we have to do is take a few minutes each day to reflect on our day. Practice affirming our small wins and anything good that happened. This trains our hippocampus into remembering the good instead of forgetting any of it happened. Believe me, this, alone creates massive growth over time.
Expectations vs. Reality
One great way to improve our time management skills is to time our tasks and errands and then make a note of it. You will be surprised how much longer they last than what you’ve been expecting all this time. It’s also important to validate your basic human need for breaks and self-care. We are not machines, and none of us have super-human powers, either. All of this is an important takeaway for the busy worker, whose expectations are that of a superhero.
Instead of a Long To-Do List
- Choose ONE priority from that list and then cross off the rest. This is what the productive worker does because they know that they are not machines or super-human. They also know that self-care is key to greatness. That’s why they achieve and the busy worker flounders.
- Reserve it for ONE day a week. Call it admin day if you will. That one day you have to handle all those pesky tasks that you would rather not do, but if you do them, it will make the rest of the week smoother. And more importantly, the other days are free from the to-do list.
- Turn it into a list of weekly or monthly goals. Instead of cramming everything into a single and stressful day, extend it into a little bit each day or a little bit each week.
- Turn it into a two-column page summing up your week: “What I’ve Done” and “What’s Next“. This one has become my favorite. It’s helpful when organizing all of the different parts that go towards wielding our plans into a reality. It’s giving us everything we need in a single glance by showing us where we have been so that we know where we are going. The “What I’ve Done” Column” is a reminder that we did something towards our goals and therefore, we can do something under “What’s Next.”
For Slowing Down Our Perception of Time
I got this wisdom from a Freeze Type. He loves gaming, but like all things that are fun, time flies when he is gaming. He shared the two things he does that helps him:
- Count in time with the seconds until we feel more grounded in space and time. I asked him how long the counting lasts. He told me that he once got up to five minutes. That’s a lot of counting! But it’s better for our system when we spend five minutes in the present than dissociating our lives away.
- Set alarms to go off at different intervals because it’s a reminder of how much time has passed and how much is left. So as the alarm goes off, we are given a choice on how we spend the rest of our day.