Battered Child Syndrome is Real: Justice for Ashlee Martinson

Battered child syndrome is another term I intend to add to Trauma Glossary 1. It’s just as real as battered spouse syndrome, and it can be just as deadly as The Burning Bed. When either battered spouse or battered child syndrome sets in, there are only two choices. 1) Succumb to soul death (Trauma Glossary 2) and become nothing more than a body that’s housing the shattered and broken spirit. 2) Or, when the spirit refuses to die, it comes roaring back to take down the threat. It’s often by extreme measures. Last week, I showed you just the “highlights” of my trauma bond (Trauma Glossary 1) years. I ended my story with how the so-called “Child Protective Services” failed me at age twelve:

“When the law fails the abused child, they feel the burden rests entirely on their shoulders. The battered child sees no alternative but to take matters into their own hands.”

My Case Study of the Trauma Bond

In 1992, I was seventeen years old when I took matters into my own hands. I stood toe-to-toe against my borderline mother and told her she would never hit me again. I was prepared to fight to the death if I had to. The only reason I am not speaking to you today as an ex-convict is because my mother walked away. In 2015, Ashlee Martinson was seventeen when her abusive stepfather did the reverse. And now she is serving a 23 year prison sentence in the state of Wisconsin.

Ashlee Martinson killed her abuser and her enabler (Trauma Glossary 1) mother. Had she been a psychopath, she would have killed the witnesses too: her three baby sisters, ages 9, 8, and 2. But instead, she locked them in a room together with juice boxes and snacks right before she fled the scene. For that, the state of Wisconsin tried her as an adult on two counts of homicide, and also charged her with 3 counts of unlawful imprisonment.

The Highlights of Ashlee Martinson’s Case: Battered Child Syndrome 101

A couple years ago, I watched this documentary on Ashlee Martinson, and from that point on, I would never reflect on my 1992 morning the same again. It was like seeing my life unfold through this altered reality. I knew every emotion she described because I felt them too. But what happened next, right after she shot her abusive stepfather, was the part that never occurred to me until I watched it unfold in her story.

Only after Ashlee took down the threat did her mother finally make an appearance. But instead of offering any words of comfort to her daughter, or apologize for allowing all the years of abuse to reach this extreme desperate moment, what did her mother do? She bawled Ashlee out, because it didn’t matter to her how abusive he was. Her daughter just killed her man. That was when Ashlee’s extreme panic shifted into a blackout rage, and she took a knife from a nearby shelf and stabbed her thirty-five times.

It was at that point, while watching her documentary, that I burst into tears. All I could think was, of course that would have happened to me next! Because just like Ashlee, I, too had an enabler parent. The same father who watched and did nothing while my borderline mother beat me, the same father who victim shamed me after every beating, was awake that morning I challenged my mother. I know, because I heard him whining my mother’s name, but he couldn’t even bother getting out of bed for me. That same man who did nothing for me, would have gotten out of bed on her account. And I know I would have blackout raged too, because I have experienced that exactly once in my life. Just not on that morning…

Blackout Rage: The Hijacked Amygdala

I was thirty-three years old the day mine happened. I was on the phone with my then twenty-two year old brother. Somewhere in that conversation, the CPS (Child Protective Services) debacle, which I talked about last week, was brought up. I was shocked he knew about it, because he was only a year old. That’s when he told me our mother’s version of what happened. According to her, she never beat me; I was a pathological liar. But what pushed me over the edge was when she minimized the greatest trauma of my life. She claimed that it was my need for attention and drama that led me to contact CPS.

A shadow dropped in front of my eyes and to this very day, I believe I had an out of body experience, however briefly. I only remember screaming: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! Whatever else I said is lost to this day.

It was my brother’s voice that returned me to something that resembled civilization. “I know, I know! I believe you! Please stop yelling in my ear!”

It took me some time to realize I was screaming into the phone. At some point I had left my seat and was pacing like a caged beast, my free hand balled up tight, my index finger stabbing the air with violent jabs.

I am forever humbled by my blackout rage. I now know what the crime of passion murderers mean when they say, “I don’t know what came over me.” Because had my parents been in my presence when I heard that, I’d have killed them both. And yet I am speaking to you today as a law abiding citizen with no criminal record, confessing to a crime I could have committed.

Battered Child Syndrome: More Comparisons Between Me and Ashlee Martinson

I had one sibling that I was trying to look out for that morning I challenged my mother, and that was my six year old brother. Sure, he was the so-called “golden child” but that didn’t exempt him from abuse. So, I was championing for more than just myself. In the back of my mind, he was there too. Ashlee Martinson had three baby sisters that she was trying to look out for. The burden she must have felt on her shoulders in 2015 compared to mine in 1992 is incomprehensible.

We both lived in homes of domestic violence and we both worried about our enabler parents. I grew up watching and listening to my mother beat my father, up until I was ten years old. That’s when I became her primary target of physical abuse, while she doubled-down on the psychological abuse of my father. Every single day she rode his case over something and I watched as year by year, he whittled down into nothing more than a shell. I witnessed the slow and painful death of my father’s spirit. Ashlee and her sisters were not exempt from their stepfather’s abuse, but her mother was his primary target. Ashlee witnessed him countless times fly into rages and beat her so badly, she was scared that if no one stopped him, he would kill her mother physically.

We both reached that level of being fed up with all the violence. On my morning of 1992 and Ashlee’s morning of 2015, we both developed an identical resolve. We refused to live one more day in an abusive home. You see, in battered child syndrome, that’s just how it works. Before we can champion for our co-victims, we must first find that spark within us to fight for ourselves.

Extreme Panic: The Hijacked Amygdala

It’s been 30 years since my 1992 morning and my body still remembers it. The adrenaline that’s flooding my system is causing my hands to shake. But I must push through, because I’m doing this for Ashlee. Here are a few facts that led to my morning in 1992, so that you understand how large the threat looms in the mind of a teenager with battered child syndrome:

1. My borderline mother had always threatened to kill anyone who dared to fight back. My enabler father, the man of the house, lived in fear of her wrath. Seeing this, how could I, a child, not live in fear of her carrying out her murderous threats?
   
   
2. For whatever reason at the time, a lot of “awareness” was being raised on bratty teenagers abusing their parents, and that the law would get them for this. Let me tell you, my borderline mother enjoyed those commercials, as they gave her even more power to wield over us. (The same can be said about the awareness raised on men abusing women. She wielded that one over my father’s head. A reminder that she was somehow free to be violent and there was nothing he could do about it.)
   
   
3. It took me over a year just to work up the nerve to fight back. I had a plan on how to do this, that would hopefully, prevent me from being murdered or arrested. I just needed to prove I was defending myself. My plan was not to kill her, but to knock her unconscious. Obviously, I knew nothing about the hijacked amygdala until years later. And had this plan been implemented, all that adrenaline would have prevented me from registering at what point my mother had become incapacitated.

1992: In Fear of My Very Life

I was in the bathroom getting ready for school when my mother reached through the doorway and dug her claws into my arm. She always started her abuse of me like this. But instead of cowing to her, I jerked my arm free and told her, “You will never hit me again.”

Her voice dropped several octaves, and she sounded like something from a horror movie when she said: “Oh, but I will…I will…”

She put her hands on my arm, only this time, gently, as she guided me out into the hallway. That’s when I snatched my arm free from her grasp and said: “No you won’t!” Then I clenched my fists to my sides and stared at the spot directly between her eyes.

My mother said, “Oh, you want to fight me?” in that same low and creepy voice. “Come on then, hit me.” It was at that point, I heard my father whining her name from their bedroom, only once and then nothing more. She ignored him and continued in her low voice: “Come on, hit me…please, hit me.” My mother threw punches at me but not one of them connected. She was trying to make me flinch or back down, but I knew it was too late for either.

Heart pounding in pure terror, all I could think was, “Let her hit first so that maybe the cops will understand. Once she hits me, do not, under any circumstances, stop hitting her until she is at least unconscious. This is going to be a fight to the death. Oh God, please don’t let it be me who dies in this hallway today!”

Just when I thought she would actually hit me, she turned and walked back to her bedroom. I stood there, alone and utterly baffled.

2015: Ashlee Roars Back From Soul Death

One of the side effects of soul death is suicidal ideation (Trauma Glossary 2). Ashlee had made no plans on fighting back. Her solution that morning was ending her life. She had taken one of her stepfather’s shotguns to her room, and was positioning it on herself when she was interrupted by the very person who had led her to this moment. Her stepfather banged on her bedroom door and demanded to know what she was doing. That’s when sheer terror took over and inadvertently saved her life. Ashlee turned the gun away from herself and used it to take down the threat that just happened to inhabit the body of a human. She shot him first in the neck, and the second time in the head.

Was the second shot intentional homicide? If we are following the letter of the law itself, then yes, it was. But so is shooting with the intent to kill a threating person in self-defense. This is usually considered either not guilty by reason of self-defense, or a justifiable homicide. How on earth his death was not seen in this light blows my mind. After all, stepfather, Thomas Ayers had quite the rap sheet that proved what he was capable of.

Enabler Parents Will Always Put the Needs of the Tyrant Above the Child

Ashlee’s mother, Jennifer Ayers…well, let’s just say she went for a specific type of man that solidified Ashlee’s battered child syndrome. Same father figure, different names.

In between Ashlee’s biological dad and her stepdad, Jennifer Ayers had a lover named Jerry Hrabe. He not only beat both Jennifer and Ashlee from ages 7-10. He also molested Ashlee, even raped her in front of his friend when she was nine years old. The cops were called on multiple occasions. However, those few times Jerry Hrabe was arrested, Ashlee’s mom would go bail him out the next day. Let that sink in.

Oh, and Jerry Hrabe had something in common with Thomas Ayers, besides the whole wife and child beating thing. They also enjoyed torturing and killing animals right in front of the kids. Hey, I wasn’t kidding when I said that Ashlee’s mom had a specific type. So, naturally, on the morning of 2015, she rushed to the defense of her man in lieu of her own child.

But what of Ashlee’s biological dad? Well, he was the lesser of the three evils, though not by much. But before we talk about him, let’s first, take a good hard look at the state of Wisconsin, home of that infamous serial killer, Jeffrey Dahmer.

Adult Survivors of Child Abuse vs. The State of Wisconsin

Speaking of Jeffrey Dahmer, on May 27, 1991, his 14 year-old victim, Konerak Sinthasomphone almost escaped, except two Milwaukee cops sent him back to Dahmer. They were fired by the police chief, (good for him!) but alas! In 1994, some morally bankrupt judge reinstated them. But this happened before Ashlee Martinson was born. So, let’s show how the law failed her prior to that 2015 morning.

In 2013, Ashlee, at age fifteen, thought she would be safer living with her biological dad, Jeremy Martinson. But, big surprise, he was abusive too. Her biological father was never charged. According to the Wisconsin police officer that she ran to for help, “Since you are a minor, he had every right to put his hands on you.” Thus, how Ashlee ended up languishing under the “care” of her enabler mom and the stepdad with a rap sheet. Since she was a minor, he had every right to abuse Ashlee too, if I’m understanding the Wisconsin law correctly.

But the most outrageous statement coming out of Wisconsin was in Ashlee Martinson’s documentary. If you watch nothing else, be sure to listen at 23:48-23:55. This came from the captain of the Oneida County Sherriff’s Office: “If every child that lived in a home that had abuse in it killed their parents, there would be a lot of dead parents.” Read that again. Or listen to it again.

“If every child that lived in a home that had abuse in it killed their parents, there would be a lot of dead parents.” – Police Captain in the state of Wisconsin

So, if I am understanding this statement correctly, the state of Wisconsin knows that there are a lot of abusive parents in their state. If they know that there are a lot of abusive parents in Wisconsin, then what is the state of Wisconsin doing about this? What, pray tell, is the solution that the state of Wisconsin has to offer a child who lives in a home that has abuse in it? If what the cop told Ashlee in 2013 has any merit, child abusers have every right to put their hands on a minor.

I’d like to further ask the state of Wisconsin if those children who were murdered by their abusive parents could pull a Lazarus, would you dare fling the same victim shaming language at them? Would you dare fail them the second time around and tell them that their abusers have more rights than they have? Or would you work at making reforms to ensure such tragedies will not happen again?

You have punished Ashlee Martinson for your failure to protect abused children. Your system enabled an enabler to create and recreate a violent environment for her children. Abandoning a child to such a fate, only to throw the book at them for taking desperate measures when they finally snap is complete hypocrisy. How do you think battered child syndrome develops? It’s from living in a violent home without hope of rescue. Sure, the blood is on Ashlee’s hands, but that blood is on yours as well. Until you look at yourself and make reforms, the tragedy of 2015 will repeat itself.

Battered Child Syndrome is Real: I move for time served in Ashlee Martinson’s case

I do not advocate for vigilantism. But I do advocate for laws that protect children, give them options so that they never have to feel as desperate as both Ashlee and I felt at age 17. I stood up to my mother in 1992, prepared to fight to the death if I had to, because I saw no other option. Ashlee almost took her own life because she saw no option left. How poetic that her hijacked amygdala (Trauma Glossary 3: section 1) saved her life while also sealing her fate under the Wisconsin law.

Ashlee Martinson took the life of a violent man and an enabler who continually allowed abusers into her children’s lives. Ashlee locked her three sisters in a room together with food and juice in an attempt to protect them from seeing the carnage. What happened in 2015 was a horrific tragedy, and even Ashlee agrees that she deserves punishment, just not 23 years worth. I agree, especially considering how the state of Wisconsin hasn’t stopped to consider the role they played in this.

Consider for just one moment what would have happened had Ashlee taken her life instead of the abuser and enabler. Even if Jennifer and Thomas Ayers parted ways, between his rap sheet and Jennifer’s history of poor choices, Ashlee’s baby sisters would have grown up at the mercy of abusers. And they’d have had no big sister acting as their safe person.

Ashlee’s fate could have been mine, except my mother walked away and never touched me again. For that, I went to school that day and I got to live my life as a free person. I cannot stress this enough. Battered child syndrome is real. Ashlee deserves her chance at freedom now. Please sign this petition for her release.